1 — SLIMMING THE SENTENCE
A typical Substack sentence runs something like this:
“I think I'm safe in saying and most people would agree with me that the word crummy isn't used very much or least I don't think it is.”
This fatso must go on a strict diet!
The svelte version: “Crummy” is rare.
2 — METHOD
Re-read.
Identify the core meaning and select verbiage extraneous to it.
Cut what is unnecessary. Reformulate your expression of what is left.
Repeat.
Application:
The sentence example in Section 1 is predominantly self-referential. But is this sentence about “me, me, me” or the usage of an adjective?
The writer is anxious that others may criticize his finding, in which he doesn't seem to have much confidence. The argument is thereby significantly weakened. That's like a boxer who punches himself in the face.
The core idea is the identification of a trend in word usage. Everything else must go. Into the fire like Christ’s tares!
3 -- REFORMULATION
With the dross tossed, the idea that remains must be dressed appropriately.
The svelte version: “Crummy” is rare.
Crummy in quotation demarcates the item of focus. Whatever this thing crummy is, the reader is told thereby, is the subject.
A thinking reader may pause to ask how and why whatever crummy is might be considered rare and in what sense rare. Thus, the writer sets up the sentence that follows as the answer.
One might write, instead:
“Crummy” isn't much used nowadays.
This version is a bit too chubby for me and bland, but compared to the verbal obesity of the original, it is still significantly healthier (efficient) and handsomer (trim). It reads more like conversation than writing. Audience, medium, etc., are matters for consideration. The choice is one of style.
"Everything else must go. Into the fire like Christ’s tares!"
Amen.
I don't know if I agree with that. I mean, it's a bad example as sentences go, sure, but I have a different style of writing. Well, first of all, you'd have to read it, but sometimes, writers have long sentences and short ones that run together. Readers don't even notice half the time. Most writers think their writing has to be short, tight and precise, because that's what they're told. That might be because of page size, and nothing else. Stories are usually aimed towards the shorter size. 5,000 words is a long story these days. Publishers might say they'll take 5,000 words, but usually they'll take the shorter ones. I like to write novellas and novelettes. I don't worry about word count anymore. I let the story tell itself. I tend to latch onto dialogue. And when you say crummy isn't much used now-a-days, it was pretty standard in the 60's. No word should be discounted because it's not used today. Writing is a matter of "voice." You style comes through in your voice.